Events - your feedback
BEREAVED BY ADDICTION DAY- THE SHARING OF A COMMON SORROW
1. We found the day to be sensitively and gently handled and it was a relief for us to be with others who understood how it feels to lose a child to drugs. To be able to talk freely about our beloved son without embarrassment, shame or stigma was very comforting to us. Philippa and Graeme, The Wirral.
2. We very much enjoyed (if that's in fact the word) the day, and believe that those who attended got a lot from it, both in terms of mutual support, and in the sense of sharing a common bond. The remembrance service was lovely too. I hope this will become an annual event as it's a very helpful occasion for those of us who've experienced the ultimate loss from addiction. Ian and Irene, Cheltenham.
3. I found the day to be very powerful and moving. I know for myself, I was so grateful that it was not me sitting at one of those tables. It could so easily be me; everyday my brother lives is a blessing. It was lovely to work with such lovely ladies in the kitchen and it has encouraged me to attend the meetings more regularly as it is so easy to get caught up in it all and shut yourself off. So, thank you Elizabeth for organising a beautiful day. DrugFAM CLIENT VOLUNTEER, Bucks.
4. It was an emotional and moving event, and there was a great feeling of mutual support and encouragement among those present, many stories of loss and its impact on families, but importantly also stories of how the loss had been channelled into initiatives for supporting others similarly affected. There was also a great feeling of sharing a common bond, and without exception everyone was supportive of the others present. There were lots of tears, but more importantly there was laughter too. The day ended with a short service for those we have lost to substance misuse, and the lighting of candles for them. This was a very fitting and respectful remembrance for all our loved ones who were so stigmatised and judged in life because of their addiction. A further conference is planned for next year and I’d recommend it to anyone who has suffered a loss due to addiction. Ian and Irene,Cheltenham.
5. Thank you for a very 'special' day on Saturday, You could not fail to be moved by all the stories but also to the wonderful strength everyone shared, my heart went out to you all. Lesley, Cruse Bereavement Services Herts.
6. From all of us who attended from The Luke and Marcus Trust I want to say a very big thank you for organising such a magnificent event. We all came away feeling that we had learned something and that you and others like you are very special people. It is knowing that we share this common sorrow with so many (although of course in an ideal world it should not be necessary), and that we endeavour to create a positive out of a negative, in memory of our children. The fact that we not only lose them in the end, but that we have all experienced that first loss to drug addiction, and the stigma society puts on that, sets us apart from other bereaved parents. We realise that society, mourns with those parents who lose their children to war, illness, accidents and suicide, but where addiction is concerned their compassion often fails. This is something we are overcoming by working together and I feel very privileged to be with such courageous people. Thank you all.
Thank you again Elizabeth for the day and the opportunity to meet others, for the wonderful food provided (delicious!) and the lovely support workers who helped. Very sincerely, Marilynn S Shaw, The Luke and Marcus Trust Yorkshire, Harrogate and Dewsbury.
7. Thank you for inviting me to the Bereaved by Addiction Day. I felt the day was very worthwhile, and I met some very inspirational people. In my role as a worker supporting those with addiction, it is so important to involve the families and close friends. This was reinforced on Saturday and I will work hard to ensure families are included in the clients’ treatment as much as possible. Lee, DIP Worker Smart CJS Bucks.
8. I was most impressed with the organisation, the decoration of the room and the catering. The day itself seemed very successful and was quite a tear-jerker. I'm always astounded to see and hear what people (speakers and attendees) who have been through such adversity have achieved. Very humbling. Peter Short, DrugFAM Trustee.
9. It was a remarkable day. My friend, Dorothy, said she felt it was a privilege to be there. You hit the right content with mixing both real stories and professionals. You made us feel very welcome and your personal content was spot on. Anne, Staffordshire.
10. Thank you, Elizabeth, for a wonderful day. It was such a privilege to finally meet you, and all the other participants on Saturday. It was a painful and raw experience for me, but I know it was therapeutic but I am rather shocked to have discovered that I was not so far down the road to healing as I thought I was. I hadn't shared my poems with anyone before, so I must have felt I was in a safe and understanding environment to be able to do this: a compliment to you and to your staff. Plenty of food for thought and maybe an opportunity for me to research the possibilities for doing something useful back in the Netherlands. Jane, The Netherlands.
11. Saturday was very meaningful, and we all pulled together on such a poignant day, it must have been very hard for you Elizabeth. Gail and Ted, Bucks.
12. It was an honour to be able to help on Saturday, a chance for me to give something back to DrugFAM. Without the support of the Wycombe group I don't know how I would have made it through the past few months. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of courage some people have, that despite their tragic losses they are still able to help others. I have nothing but total admiration for you Elizabeth for setting up such a worthwhile day when you yourself and your family have suffered so much. Thank you for allowing me to be part of that! Sally, DrugFAM Client, Bucks.
13. Thank you for Saturday it was really really good to meet people and share both tears and joy. Elaine, Berks.
14. I was touched by the poignant and moving Bereavement by Addiction day which exuded a sense of dignity, serenity and grace. It was beautifully and sensitively organised. Working in the field of family healing I am aware that there is little support or recognition of this most valuable need in the UK. Gathering together in this way I trust will have a cumulative effect nationwide. As a result of their tragedy I was so heartened to realise that there were present 'pockets of passionate pioneering people' and that I am no longer alone in this.
Sally Miller, Renewal Centre RG7 1TJ.
15. Thank you so much for arranging Saturday. It was one of the most powerful and moving days of my life. When I was in active addiction and early recovery- in 2001- I often thought about killing myself. I genuinely believed that it would be best for everyone. That's how insane and selfish drugs can make you. Seeing, hearing and feeling some of the pain of those bereaved, I am so glad that I got clean and didn't put my loved ones through that agony. And the day increased my resolve to do everything possible to help young people resist taking drugs and help those with dependencies to get clean. Anything I can do to help, DrugFAM, will be my great privilege. Sarah Graham therapist & director: Sarah Graham Solutions Ltd - [ visit website ]
15. It was so nice meeting you on Saturday Your book "Mum, can you lend me twenty quid" was my only salvation from isolation when my son died in 2007 and i can't thank you enough for this. Bereaved by Addiction Day was a very special occasion, meeting so many people going through the same heartache as myself was a great comfort. I thought it was so brave of the speakers to voice their stories of the painfully, impossible times, when someone you love is addicted to drugs. It made me realise how much i hid from everyone and to some respect still do.
I am continuous in my battle to come to terms with never seeing my son again. Many thanks to all and everyone at DrugFAM. Hope to hear from you soon and see you next year. Jackie, Oxon.
16. THANK YOU so much for a most "reflective" day last Saturday. I felt we were all able to support each other and found strength from the various speakers. Some attendees were still very "raw" and in early days of bereavement but I think being further down the line i was able to support them and show that time does allow you to move forward. To meet with parents who had only just suffered a bereavement, made me realise how far I had moved on but still very aware of their pain. Just being able to support each other helped us all. I do congratulate for making the day happen and all your hard work and enthusiasm helped so many.
Laraine, Surrey.
17. I thought it was a unique opportunity to meet with others who share a common sorrow. The whole day felt supportive, inspirational and very loving. It touched sadness in me, where I remembered how it felt to watch someone be taken over by addiction, and I can't imagine how it felt for those in the room who had lost their loved ones. I feel blessed that those close to me are now living to tell their stories and helping others. There was an enormous sense of solidarity that day, and that together everyone is making a difference to families whose lives are blighted by addiction!
Emma Speigler
www.coap.co.uk + view site
18. Many thanks to you for organising the special day together for families united by the same cause of bereavement; it was good to be able to be open about our losses with many who knew just how we felt.
Did you ever see the news films some years ago of mothers who took to the streets of Argentina, proclaiming their anguish regarding their lost or disappeared children? They were united in their grief. There were many hundreds holding banners high with pictures of their loved ones who had disappeared without trace and by doing this they brought their plight to the attention of the world in the hope of putting a stop to it.
Perhaps we should do something like that? Our cause of grief, bereavement by addiction to drugs and alcohol - is also devastating millions of families worldwide and just maybe if the mothers in this country took to the streets, then maybe others would follow in other countries and make the governments sit up, take note and do something?’
Pauline and family Manchester, Lancs.
19. Thank you for sending me the feedback to your special day. I only wish I could have been there, I feel very isolated at times and two years is not so very long in the grieving process. I do hope you were able to hand out some of my leaflets on LOSS THROUGH ADDICTION and that my group or at least the website might benefit someone who is struggling as I am. Do let me know of any future events you would like advertised on my site and hopefully next year I maybe able to attend a similar event if you are organising one again.
kind regards Sue - Loss Through Addiction + view site
20. Elizabeth, thank you for the opportunity to meet some wonderful caring people, I am amazed that so many shared stories of the sad adventure they had encountered. Made me feel so humble. Since my day on the bereaved addiction day, I have reflected on my selfish thoughts, which I am starting to overcome; it’s not quite twelve months since my brother John died. Coming up to his birthday, xmas and first anniversary date, which I know will be hard for all of us. Both my parents feel they are suffering more, but who levels a loss of a loved one, all I can say is I miss him so very much. However I discovered time is not a healer, but time gives you levels to cope, understand and repair. I really enjoyed meeting you all and your commitment to help and support others. Perhaps one day I will be ready to help others.Special thank you, to my old time friend Julie, you are wonderful. Angela, Berks.
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